Getting married isn’t hard. It’s staying married that is tough, especially when you have a very unclear financial understanding. When two people get married, they have to share things, which also include financial burdens.
This article doesn’t mean to scare you away from getting married. It is more about understanding each other’s financial situations and how you handle them before you tie the knot.
Fighting over Finance isn’t new
You may have seen your parents having an argument about some expenses when you were a kid. In fact, you will see that most of the couples do have some kind of arguments and fights about finances. This should be your cue to take care of your finances before you get married.
The fight over the finances isn’t exactly baseless. When you are the head of the family and you have to take care of things, you will be naturally more constrained with the money. Conflict is bound to arise when either of the spouses isn’t putting in as much effort as the other one.
It’s not just about the money
Spending money isn’t just about the money. It’s the attitude and approach of either partner that causes the strain in the relationship. If you didn’t know about this before the marriage, this could become a serious problem. You may start questioning whether you knew this person or not. Self-doubt and resentment towards the partner’s attitude towards the handling of the finances could lead to the breakup of the marriage.
There is a way to handle finances in marriage
Thankfully, there are several ways you can address the problem of handling the finances in marriage. Here are some of the ways you can successfully handle the money matter and save your marriage from breaking up.
Financial Compatibility in Marriage
Before you say I DO, make sure that you both are compatible financially. You should be aware of each other’s debts and expenses. This should not come as a surprise after you get married. Compatibility when it comes to finances is essential.
- Listen carefully to how your partner talks about the finances. Whether they handle debts right away or delay.
- Talking about the finances should be easy rather than constrained or reluctant.
- Pay attention to the spending habits, amount of debts, and attitude towards the expenses and handling of them.
What are the financial goals?
Ask about the financial goals. It is highly unlikely that both of your goals will match 100%. One partner might be dreaming about having a vacation home near the sea, while the other might want to travel more. Being aware of each other’s financial goals will help in avoiding conflict in the future.
- Ask about the long-term financial goals, like retirement and buying a house.
- How much they would like to save for the future.
- Whether they have to take care of their parents in case they aren’t financially stable.
Approach towards money
The way your parents handled money and how it affected you in your childhood could reflect on your present attitude towards money. You should be aware of your partner’s fears and apprehension regarding the finances.
- Get to know more about the partner’s financial background and their viewpoint on it.
- Try to learn about their spending and saving methods in their house. Children learn from their parents; this will give you a good idea of how they are going to approach it.
The non-negotiable
Certain things are off-limits. For instance, some people like to pay off their bills right away and feel uneasy if they have to delay it. If the other partner isn’t on the same page, then they will need to work out a way that works for both of them.
- Learn about the financial traits of your partner that are obviously not going to change after marriage.
- Be upfront about things that you aren’t going to change as well.
Merging your finances
Most couples start living together even before they get engaged. They may handle their own finances until they get engaged. That is when you need to decide whether you need to merge your accounts or not. If you can handle it now, you can handle it afterwards too.
- Having a joint account when both partners are working isn’t practical. You are already used to handling your finances without the extra support.
- Decide how much each is going to pay for the wedding and other expenses (if you are paying for the wedding rather than your parents).
Conclusion
Money is the essential part of keeping a marriage strong, so it makes sense to be very clear about each other’s financial situations and how you are going to handle them. Make sure you are on the same page when it comes to money, because you don’t want money to be one of the reasons for the failure of the marriage.
